Quick Pop: 2011 People's Choice Awards - The Cultute of Pop, DVD, Movie, TV, Pop Culture Review

Quick Pop: 2011 People's Choice Awards

Posted: Wed, 5 Jan 2011 21:17:01 PST

Okay, it was my intention to live blog the big shindig in L.A. tonight, but between editing current articles, catching Live To Dance and an all new Modern Family (FINALLY), I opted to do a quick, stream of consciousness blog entry...

But first, let me say how much I was impressed by the PCA tonight...for a while, this event had gotten a little too stuffy, too predictable and really showing its age. But not now...color me impressed.

Here we go...oh, but wait...since Modern Family was a must watch tonight, we now join this awards show stream of consciousness overview already in progress:

Queen Lattifah's becoming the Billy Crystal of this little shindig, isn't she? Love the Queen. Even Bringing Down The House. 

-Had no idea Khloe Kardashian was so tall..her sisters might wanna invest in stilts for future award shows. Lord knows they've got the money.

Lisa Edelstein should have a mantlepiece full of awards by now. Maybe tonight will be the start of it all. Major crush since those infamous Seinfeld episodes.

Miranda Cosgrove, where were girls like you when I was back in high school? More importantly, how do you get that marvelous shine? I need some haircare tips.

Mila Kunis, now that you're single would you like to come over and play the home game of That 70's Show with me? I can assure authenticity on my part. Strobe lights optional

Pauly Perrette, you have me THIS close to being an NCIS junkie...and you should have been feted the award for sexiest combination fashion/political statement EVER....that EVER will be. God Bless America.

Zac Efron-I see High School Musical pretty boy has a new haircut. Maybe it'll have a Samson like effect and his hypnotic appeal will vanish. Hey, it's already worked on Vanessa Hudgens....

Kristen Stewart-Darling, have you ever heard of a comb? Or a brush? You can get 'em cheap at Wal Mart, Walgreens, etc.- Just go to a 24 hours location after midnight to avoid the fanboys and fix yourself up.

Nikki Taylor-She'll always be my Cover Girl...oh, wait...what about Cheryl Tiegs? Talk about a heavenly case of conflict.

Johnny Depp-My man, you have come a long way from trashing hotel rooms. Way to be graceful.

Neil Patrick Harris-I'd forgotten Doogie Howser was a comedy hour (*giggle*)...From the good old days to How I Met Your Mother, I adore this guy...and for the record, I would've called Eric Braeden a douche bag too,...but I wouldn't have taken it back....

(How do ya like them apples, you egotistical Clark Gable wanna be? Retire already....)

Selena Gomez-Kid, you're lucky that confetti wasn't scented with a super secret formula of chloroform by Team Stalk Justin to knock you out...(Oh, geez...something I said in jest might give little girls some evil ideas).

Sorry, Selena.

Julie Bowen-I've adored you since some little movie called Happy Gilmore...I watched you grow up from Ed to Boston Legal to Modern Family...Does that make me your uncle in a way? If so, I'll buy you a super size box of Cracker Jacks next time I'm in La La Land...but I get to keep the prize if it's a whistle. I love whistles.

Katy Perry-Will somebody cast this girl in a 1940's-ish comedy? She just has that look about her. If she can act as well as she can sing, a old school screwball romp could be just what the agent ordered...And if your agent doesn't agree, Katy? Hire me. I need the work.

Ashton Kucher and Natalie Portman-First off, Ashton, Demi's got her eye on you, so you best be behaving, lad....and Natalie, get those fancy dresses ready...from what I've heard you're gonna be a busy bee in the next couple of months.

Actually, with the baby coming, you're gonna be busy for the rest of your life, kiddo.

Grace Park-How handy you are...just happened to have a bikini on for your acceptance video with your H502K tribe. Double congratulations, too. Your demographic's prolly gonna spike big time on Monday as a result.

The Twilight Kiddies-People, am I missing something, here? Should an old school Universal Horror-Dark Shadows-Night Stalker guy jump on board these deals via Netflix?. Hit me back in the comments...and let's see if we can help Kristen by taking up a collection for her comb.

Finally, don't be shy, kids...hit me back with some feedback below...or a radio job...and a house...I could use some fresh digs to play host to Ms. Kunis...

-J.R.

Jeffrey Rosado is a pop culture historian, writer and performer.

Follow Jeff On Twitter: @marquee_man