Rosado's Recaps: American Idol - The Cultute of Pop, DVD, Movie, TV, Pop Culture Review

Rosado's Recaps: American Idol

Posted: Fri, 4 Feb 2011 0:31:47 PST

AMERICAN IDOL

WEEK THREE-SHOWS 5 & 6

Well, howdy do, Idol faithful....Jeffrey here....Jeffrey Mark, as my mother used to call me sans my last name...and God rest her soul, that's prolly what she would have shouted to me amidst the roar of the living room TV while I was visiting,,

Dorothy (thick Southern accent): Jeffrey?! Jeffrey Mark?! That Ah-mehr- kan Idol show's on...c'mon....

...and we'd gather in front of the television along with millions of other families to see our first glimpse of a potential star or a potential future patient in the nearby psychiatric ward...and folks, I'm willing to bet ya, there's been a few therapists that have picked up some clients in recent years after Idol cattle calls, hopefully going no further than the quiet solitude of a therapist's office.

But after the last couple of nights, I don't know....

Speaking of a couple, got a 2 for 1 special for you guys this week. Yep, due to the fact that I was a little under the weather on Wednesday along with not sleeping very well, I'm combining both A.I. Shows into one review...Also, I wanna kind of be more picky in paring the reviews down, tightening them up a bit; not going for nothing but the best voices and including only one to two disastrous auditions.

First stop, the state and musical capital of Texas: Austin, where around 10,000 hopefuls were hoping to shine brighter than an oversized George Strait concert souvenir belt buckle.

Cory's first out of the gate, doing a soulful, good sounding take on Bonnie Raitt's I Can't Make You Love Me. What kind of threw me off a bit? This guy's got a higher voice than some females I know..and it reminded me of an old skit on SCTV called Funny Farm Film Blow Up, where guests would explode, like Neil Sedaka (ha-ha).

Anyway, three enthusiastic yes votes and this nursing guy is on his way to Cali-forn-ia-yay! Much to the delight of his sister, who'd always championed his efforts.

Hollie is next with a very rough take on an Idol audition fave, Etta James' At Last, a tune that's been done brilliantly or horrifically...and Hollie's isn't anywhere in the vicinity of a correct key, tone, nothing. But despite that, there's some pretty significant lung power and stage presence, so despite a hard core no from Randy, she's encouraged by Jen and Steven (if I remember correctly) to try another song...and in a remarkable comeback sans most of the nerves that plagued her earlier. Through her tears, she's given some great news....that elicits (all together) more tears! But hey, I love it, love it, love it when judges are keen enough to spot potential diamonds in the rough, so I say let's keep an eye on Hollie to see if she makes it to the top 20 and beyond to make this story even sweeter. 

John Wayne Schulz,-What a name combining two of my heroes; The Duke and the creator of Charlie Brown. A mama's boy who stood by her side during a fight with breast caner, he did a more than credible version of Brooks and Dunn's Believe. What made John's audition so terrific, is that he doesn't sound like a lot of country artists out there; he's original. Also, although I'm happily heterosexual (as many of you that have gotten into my style of writing no doubt know), I think the girls are gonna go nuts for this guy!

In other words, a country boy version of Sanjaya who can (Texas accent) sahng!

Courtney, beside herself over her huge crush Ryan Seacrest, she gets all teary eyed in a Tiger Beat fan kind of way meeting him before her audition...and I'm thinking, oh God, this is gonna blow, it's gonna blow. For one thing, if anything can throw you off your game and affect your throat from crying to a cold, it's not good, folks. But in a real surprise, Courtney did a more than credible version of Stay by Sugarland. Jen and Steven approve leaving, Randy being a sole, surprising no.

But hey, two out of three and you're on the plane..and Courtney is more than ready and a real ham...and I think she could be one to watch...

Jacqueline and Nick-Nope, it's not the title of an NBC replacement series, but one of those annoying lovey dovey, touchy feeling couples. Like say, the one on Seinfeld Seinfeld One of those annoying couples like that infamous Seinfeld episode where Jerry's teamed up with the fabulous Alexandra Wentworth (soon to be Mrs. George Stephanopoulos)...Remember the couple that kept calling each other Snoopy (“I love you Snoopy', etc-You get the idea).

Instead of the usual bait and switch deal where the audition's a dud, these kids actually sing pretty darn good, with Jacky doing an appealingly faster version of Mercy by Duffy...and when you make me like a cover more than the original, that's a groove. Nick was a little pale by comparison with an overly fluttery voice, but he's not bad...But happily, they won't have to be separated, for now at least...for they are on their way to La-La land.

Also, doesn't Jackie remind you of Kendra of E!/Playboy fame while Nick favors one of those Twilight kids? Hey, if all else fails, they can get an agent and make dough being celeb look-a-likes. Just advisin'...

Janelle sounds a little like Jewel, along with a beautiful face and loads of star potential as is Casey, who delivers one of the most soulful voices I've heard in an Idol audition in a long, long time...with a gospel feel that had Steven and me going back to church, man...

I still say Mr. Ty and me have got to get together and break some rock and roll bread sometime..

...and so we say goodbye to the land of Willie, Stevie Ray and Austin City Limits to head west, young men (and women) as the Idol caravan enters the city of Angels: Los Angeles.

Man, there's gonna be nothing but people dancing away with magical numbered sheets handed out here, right? Not so fast, Bruno, Len and Carrie Ann (returning in March on ABC!)

From the opening audition on, I had a feeling this show was going to be the equivalent of the Oscar night when Titanic was nominated for everything...and pretty much won everything. So if you didn't work on the movie? Hope you enjoy sitting on your ass for three hours and waiting for the free food, because you sure as hell ain't gonna get to stretch your legs struttin' to that podium.

Our first notable and on key contestant was Tim, a really nice looking guy who fessed up to a crush on a really nice looking Jennifer...who was looking way beyond nice on this day, with hair fluffed to the nines and a real nice short skirt that made us males wishing the Idol panel had plexiglass see thru capabilities...oh, well.

While I didn't think Tim's audition was all that great, everybody else thought so...but I don't think he's gonna last long in Hollywood...unless he tells Steven and Randy he's got a crush on them..and then all bets are off, baby.

Donald and Issac are a modern day Bill and Ted who chose to audition individually...and thank God they did, because mixing the two of them together? Vinegar and oil.

NEXT!

Karen was one of the My Space contestants to get a chance at the real thing, and we may have a real thang with her voice...Very belty, very soulful, so she's on her way...

Someone not on her way: Tanishan, who came all the way from Frank Sinatra's hometown of Hoboken, New Jersey, complete with a black microphone, which looked a little like one the Chairman Of The Board might've carried with him on stage. She even brought along a little Frank-like hat; the kind he made fashionable in those ring-a-ding-ding, Rat Pack days of yore and nights without bore (I just made that up).

So with all this and a Frank-like confidence, how could she loose?!

I'll tell you how: Via an audition that was more than Something Stupid...

Now I don't wanna get on a rant here like my long lost brother Denny Miller, here....but for the love of God, how could anyone from Hoboken, New Jersey forget the words to My Way? The National Anthem of the United States of Sinatra....to the Frankpublic for which it swings....One Nation Under Albert...with High Hopes and Star Dust for all!

But instead of swallowing her pride and making a graceful exit, she played the Jennifer Hudson card with a desperate And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going, which really must freaked Randy out, because he makes a break for the back drops...and I can almost hear the Mrs. Gulch theme from The Wizard Of Oz in the background...and yet this deluded dame doesn't stop! She sings a third song, which I can't recall, mainly because I can't believe I'm seeing this....

Fortunately, she gets a clue and departs before security can croon And I'm Telling You, You ARE Going..

Heidi-Had me at her belly dancing, babe...and her voice was a keeper, too. Go!

Matt-The so called CEO whose voice was a no-no. Leave!

Mark and Aaron-Two Latino brothers who duetted on a soulful version of Lean On Me with harmonies sounding like a modern day Everly Brothers blew me and the judges away. Go!

….and now, for perhaps the weirdest, strangest, bizarre, head scratcher of a tag/final segment of Idol ever: Arkansas wild man Cooper Robinson who came in with an outfit that no doubt was a reject for Paul Revere and The Raiders....Strike one...Then he started doing some howling that sounded like a bad meshing of James Brown by way of Screaming Jay Hawkins....Strike two....and to wind things up, a not so graceful couple of painful dance moves that actually hurt to watch.

If you listen closely, readers? Yep, that's the sound of Soul Brother Number One wanting out of his coffin to come back and show this dweeb how it's really done.

Oh, almost forgot: Strike THREE!

And before I bid you goodbye, some choice dialogue from Randy and Steven.

Randy: Talk about delusional people...

Steven: It is L.A.

And on that more than appropriate bit of chatter, goodbye for now, but do come back for more recaps on my fave shows (The Bachelor, SNL, Idol) along with the latest pop culture headline/links, retrospective reviews of films, books and movies, and whatever else I can pull out of my pop culture grab bag.

-J.R.

Jeffrey Rosado is a writer, pop culture historian, performer and all around nice guy..until you butcher the lyrics of a Frank Sinatra song, upon at which time, you will be placed in a not so “Tender Trap".

Follow Jeff on Twitter: marquee_man