Rosado's Recaps-2011 Oscars - The Cultute of Pop, DVD, Movie, TV, Pop Culture Review

Rosado's Recaps-2011 Oscars

Posted: Sun, 27 Feb 2011 23:00:10 PST

(Sung to the tune of The Long & Winding Road)

The long and boring show....that lead..to a snore...

Getting thru it was a chore...until Crystal hit the floor...

Book him for 2012, ratings will climb for sure...

Just back the Brinks truck.....to his door.....

Okay, maybe it wasn't the worst Oscars telecast ever...I think that honor will always be designated to the year of the Rob Lowe/Snow White production number that opened the show in 1988 if memory serves me correctly...and there have been some slow nights since then, some shows that were more consistent than others (I thought Steve Martin's solo stint and Ellen DeGeneres did fantastic jobs), and Billy Crystal rarely disappointed.

But although I adore Anne Hathaway and James Franco, the material just wasn't there. A Crystal-ish opening “let's put ourselves in the nominated movies” was halfway decent, but the response from the crowd was deafening. Opening monologue? Gracefully short, but quickly forgettable. Just a bad start, I thought; give the kids some time...but unlike Mick Jagger and the Stones, it wasn't on their side.

It's sad when the antics of 94 year old Hollywood legend Kirk Douglas who although felled by a stroke over a decade ago could get more laughs than the young whippersnappers. Even an unscripted line from Cate Blanchett (“That's gross..”) in response from creepy footage from eventual make-up winner The Wolf Man enticed more guffaws from those in attendance...and lest we forget the nearly unkempt Afro-esque do from Best Live Action Short winner Luke Matheny (for God Of Love) whose sincere speech had far more charm than the sight of James Franco in drag.

But what really brought the point home that the powers that be didn't exactly have the right hosts in mind came when 8 time host Billy Crystal came on stage. With all due respect for Hathaway and Franco, I don't think the standing ovation given to the funny man was limited for his past contribution. It was more like that scene from The Ten Commandments when Moses came down with tablets in hand, with the innocents not involved in golden calf worship to please SAVE (!) them.

Although I'd love for Crystal to return as host (perhaps with a multi-year deal to avoid the annual “who's gonna host this year?” shenanigans), an insider told me that due to his disappointment with Academy officials not appreciating his hard work and dedication to putting together a first class show figured in his ongoing refusal to return to the podium. So unless he and the MPA can come to some sort of understanding, I would go back to a single host format with a more well known name that will appeal to multiple demographics...

As I write this dispatch, I have Tom Hanks sittin' in on Jimmy Kimmel's annual post Oscars shindig...and for the love of God, has anyone ever asked the nicest guy in Hollywood if he wouldn't mind taking a crack at it...He's amazingly quick witted, fast on his feet and I have yet to meet any fellow movie fan that has a bad thing to say about him...

...and if things ever get into a lull, he's an expert juggler.

But if Hanks turns it down, what about Robert Downey, Jr.? Incredibly wacky, self depreciating, very loose, and you got the Iron Man crowd combined with the audience that's grown up with him, so he'd be a ratings magnet for sure. But no Jude Law (sorry, Jules); the duo format's been tried for two years, it's broken, and we don't want to fix it.

Other possibilities: Alec Baldwin (solo), Steve Martin (ditto), Kevin Spacey (who's got a truckload of brilliant impersonations he could work in), Jim Carrey, and George Clooney (who would ensure the biggest female slice of the female viewership EVER)!

Some things the Academy did get right this year: No cliched film montages, bringing back performances of Best Song nominees, and taking a chance this year with a nice show ending performance with the kids from the unpriviledged NYC grade school choir singing Over The Rainbow.

Though I'm sure it was torture for the audience dying to finally get out of their chairs and go partying, it was better than a cliched “thanks for comin'/good night”/etc.

Finally before I hear the music cueing me to take my leave, here's a link to all the Oscar winners from last night...

-J.R.