Rosado's Reviews: American Idol - The Cultute of Pop, DVD, Movie, TV, Pop Culture Review

Rosado's Reviews: American Idol

Posted: Thu, 10 Mar 2011 21:28:34 PST

3-10-11

 

Here it comes..like a 19^th Nervous Breakdown, Idol style...the first elimination night of Season 10...and like I stated in my last Idol dispatch, it's not gonna be easy from this point until finale night in May.

If you ask me, I'd invest in a jumbo sized box of Kleenex tomorrow...and grab a little box of original Little Debbie Raisin Cream Pies , while you're at it....Nice pick me up after you've done you're wailing (ah, the joys of rediscovering childhood snack faves while unemployed).

Okay, back to the present...and it's “Up With People”-esque time again as only Idol can do it, with all the Idol kiddies prancing around the stage like multiple Mickey Rooneys and Judy Garlands, goofy choreography and all, blaring out a medley of Michael Jackson tunes (what, no “The Girl Is Mine?” Okay, I'll keep dreamin'....) -While a group of the hopefuls converge around the judges corner, I can't help but notice Steven T.'s got this look on his face, a cross between a Hollywood grin and “Joe Perry hates my freakin' guts right about now”...

May not be too off the mark, folks.

Prior to, and after the first commercial break, it's filler times three: The kids prancing around the Idol mansion like a bunch of Beverly hillbillies, doing those sometimes fun, most times cringing Ford spots, and rubbing shoulders with Amanda Seyfred (hubba-huhmahna!) at the premiere of Red Riding Hood. Could be prematurely stating, but I think it's now a shoo-in for a number one showing at the box office this weekend since the Idol kiddies gave it 26 thumbs up (take that, Roger Ebert!)...

Now, with all the bills paid? Karen, bring those house lights down for Dudley Seacrest, woncha? First three with their feet to the fire are Karen, Stefano (aka Joey's stand-in on Friends), and Jacob. A-ha! Two of the three I picked in my last Idol blog are potential goners.

At first, it appears all tthree are safe until Ry either flubs his index cards, or has some cruel fun at Karen's expense...But you know what? She took it well and departed for 40 minutes of worry in the bottom three section, all alone like...Red Riding Hood (coming this weekend from 20^th Century Fox...PLEASE SEE IT! WE STILL OWE GARY OLDMAN MONEY! HE'LL KILL US!)

Special guest star numero uno arrives in the welcome site of my fave Idol hopeful ever, Adam Lambert, doing a wonderful song called Aftermath, a song which honestly, I haven't heard yet. But I loved this stripped down near acoustic take (sans for the electric bass), a nice change of pace from the usually overly bombastic “HEY, WE ON AMERICAN IDOL” musical moments. But for those of you who missed it and are being stereotypical, Glambert hasn't deserted that remarkable wail which brings to mind the great Robert Plant.

Speaking of which, I think 'dem old codgers Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones need to kidnap Adam, recruit John Bonham's equally talented chip off the Moby Dick block (Jason Bonham), and hit the road as Led Lambert.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, worry wart concert promoters.

Ding!: Round two of cut time brings Lauren, Ashthon, and Haley front and center...and it's the first of the ladies who gets queried on her so-so take on Shania/”Any Man..” of last eve.

In a touching moment of candor, the soon to be 16 year old said she “kind of sucked...it was bad...and I'm sorry”. Making up for his potential flub earlier, Seacrest says he doesn't want to put the weeping Georgia girl thru emotional torment any longer. Back to the couch Lauren goes, hopefully with lesson learned, and ready to spit in the fire next week.

Then there were two...and I'm thinking curtains for Haley whom I love (and looks so cute with those feathery earrings), but Ashthon's got the more superior pipes despite her giving a surprisingly inferior turn on a Diana Ross tune...and a really obscure one at that.

But in my best Gomer Pyle voice, Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! - Karen's got a double dose of company now when both girls get sent to the seats of (potential) doom.

When they think things couldn't possibly get worse, here comes Dirty Diddy Money, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy or whatever he's in the mood to market, er, call himself today.

Now, I don't wanna diss the D. Man too much, here....Honestly, I love him on talk shows, and he's a very charming guy/brilliant businessman. But as a singer, rapper, whatever? Kanye (who gets on my nerves, too) is positively Three Tenors material by comparison.

Geez, I don't know how the keyboard girl in the corner of the stage managed to do her sweet vocal counterpart, actually (Charlie Sheen Voice) SINGING (!) thing with all that shouting...I would've been SHUT UPPPPPPP! Can't hear myself THINK much less PLAY!

Okay (pant, pant, pant)....final judgment/sing for your life time...and in true Idol WTF fashion, Karen luckily gets to sit with her safe buds and buddettes (oh, forgot to say everybody else in the winners section was safe after the second “dim the lights” moment had passed, including an unfortunately ill Casey Abrams, who yet again, is hospital based...Dude, you take care of yourself, get better soon, and the entire Idol nation wants you slappin' that stand-up bass sooner than soon, brother. Godspeed, and we're praying for you, brother).

Now it's down to Ashthon and Haley...and I'm thinking oh so pretty curly girl is all but ready to pack...but in true Idol WTF fashion, part II, Ashthon's gotta give a 110% to qualify for the judge's save..But in a very, very bad move, she chooses the exact same Diana Ross tune from a night earlier that did not showcase her voice effectively at all...sadly, this version was markedly worse.

As the three shot of the judges appeared on television, and Miss Jones started wrapping her performance with a forlorn Jennifer looking on, I knew (and I think Ashthon did, too) that Miss Jones' spotlight was about to be dimmed...and when J-Lo emotionally, but courageously said, “Not this time, baby”, it was...

...but not for long.

I'm no voice coach, but I'd like to think of myself as a pretty knowledgeable guy about music, to the point that I wish I could be a post-show mentor to folks like Ashthon. Thus, my advice to her?: Get yourself a voice coach to work with to enhance what marvelous pipes you already possess, work on when to fire up your lung power and hold it back, and choose material that's right for you.

Being in the same vein as Jennifer Hudson and Whitney Houston style wise, it would not surprise me in the least to see Ashthon have at least an indie label deal within months...and in these days and times? A carefully crafted do-it-yourself website with downloads and all may just be everything she needs.

Thanks for reading as usual, enjoy the archives on the rest of the site, and bookmark The Culture Of Pop for weekly American Idol overviews all season long...

...but while you're doing so, don't forget to go see FOX's RED RIDING HOOD! OR JAMES CAMERON WILL TAKE AVATARS 2 THRU 27 TO TYLER PERRY STUDIOS!

 

-J.R.

 

Jeffrey Rosado is a writer, performer, pop culture historian, and all around nice guy...until the phone rings during Idol time...especially when no one answers on the other end....and...Oh, my God, Gary Oldman?! (To be continued....nah....just wanted to give RED RIDING HOOD one more plug...)