ROSADO'S RECAPS:The Bachelor - The Cultute of Pop, DVD, Movie, TV, Pop Culture Review

ROSADO'S RECAPS:The Bachelor

Posted: Tue, 15 Mar 2011 2:06:30 PDT

Season 15: After The Final Rose

I don't know about you guys, but we've got an hour of Bachelormania left, and in the words of Rock and Roll Hall Of Famer Chuck Berry, I'm too pooped to pop. But I don't think it'll be long before a certain intoxicating brunette's return will give me a second wind to carry on.

It's swan hour time; the big After The Final Rose, Version....something....so without further wasted blog space, let's bring her on...Chantal O'Brien! (Jeff does Kermit The Frog Muppet Show voice: Yaaaay!!!!)

WOW! Did I tell you guys in paragraph one she was gonna work her long distance magical spell upon me? Chantal looking even more stunning beyond words, months later. Still, there's still a sadness in her eyes...but beneath the sea of lurking tears, she's the same upbeat, talkative lady we've grown to love for the last two months...and almost without warning, her emotional levee breaks.. and I just wish I was on the coast to offer a hug and make her laugh (and Chantal, my blog archives may just do that in my absence, sweetie....the link for you and all lies below; sharks thankfully not included).

Then, hey, it's reunion time with Bradwick...and the instant chemistry between them comes up in a millisecond. But being the spitfire she is, Chantal asks him point blank when he knew she wasn't gonna be the chosen one...and it does seem like Brad kept a lot of the other girls around just to get to Emily in retrospect. Although Womack tries to skirt 'n' skate around the issues, Chantal's not buying it.

Then, Brad tries to sneak one of those now cliched “Aw, let's have a hug” moments...and brothers and sisters, didn't you just feel Chantal's sexy arm muscles tighten at home? In my best Chuck Berry guitar slinging duck walking voice, “Go Chantal O, go, go! Chantal B. Goode!”

But just when I be grooving and rooting for her, it's soap opera crushing moment time for me at home. Just as I'd heard and can reveal here for the first time, Chantal has found herself a man back home....

FANTASY INTERLUDE

(Cue closing piano theme from The Incredible Hulk)

Jeffrey:

Really, Chantal? Allrighty then..... I hope you'll always be happy....I love you, my friend...

(Jeffrey walks away silently as the piano strains continue and the credits come up...Fade to black)

(Cut from black to Jeffrey in tears)

Jeffrey:

(screaming) Chris Harrisonmnnmnnnnnn! Melissa Rycrofttttt!!!

Jilliannnnn!!!!! ACADEMYYYY!!!!!!!!

ANNOUNCER:

This has been Jeffrey Rosado's instant demo reel...he needs the work...

Jeffrey Rosado's Scream Coach: Nancy Kerrigan...

We now return to The Culture of Pop's After The Final Rose recap from the point of interruption....

But then when we all thought this was gonna be a lovey dovey next 45 minutes, Brad gives us a shocker...Em and he broke up while the show aired for the last two months, but reunited a short time ago just in time for the big to-do.

Way to go multiple lady hot tub stud...but he's gonna fight “tooth and nail” to keep her in his life.

So, Emily and Brad reunite publicly for the first time in a while...and boy, I just know who's wearing the pants in this relationship, now. She looks amazing, much more at ease, I'm loving the shorter hair (geez, I'm Jeffo Cojo all of a sudden).

 Even more rad? Loved, loved, LOVED her beyond candid nature on everything from her televised dates with Brad (I think she said she fell asleep on them?) to how much she enjoyed the “exciting” dates.

If you think about it, this was the same kind of candor Emily exposed to us in her pre-rose date with Brad. Hate to diss Mr. Womack, but I wanna continue in this “let's get it out here” fashion Emily's instigated. Although I think he's matured someone in the three months of taping this show, it is more than obvious that while he continues down a manchild path, Emily is definitely a grown-up, a woman that knows what she wants, and has been down quite a rough road being a single Mom.

In short, this deceptively slight woman has transformed herself in my eyes from being a cute blonde with a tiny voice to a lady with qualities I so admire to such a point, I think I might just retract a statement in my previous Bachelor blog entry...for if Brad and her hit the skids, I'd more than welcome the chance to date her, even if I have to wait behind a heck of a line to do so..but she's a woman more than waiting for.

Good God, I'll be collaborating on tunes with Wes Hayden if I keep this up.

For the rest of the hour, we got a Dr. Phil-esque couples counseloring-a-go-go with Ryan/Trista, Ali/Roberto, and Jason/Molly (hi guys and gals if you're reading...and terrific job), followed by a repeat of that still sweet proposal that I do believe captured both Brad and Emily at their most genuine, and I hope that having the opportunity to see that for the first time, it will make them realise how precious love...and time is, and that whatever obstacles remain, they can work on them away from the tabloid dweebs and television production crews that can now thankfully, be dismissed.

Brad/Emily: In the words of Sir Paul McCartney, "Life is very short, and there's no time...for fussing and fighting my friend(s)....(You) can work it out, (You) can work it out". All us romantics at heart are soooo rooting for you..

As I close, I want to sincerely thank ALL of YOU who read/kept up with my silly, sometimes cutting, occasionally overemotional, but always heartfelt 'n' sincere Bachelor recaps week in and week out.

I also wanna thank ABC/Disney and the loyal viewers for keeping the show on the air, all the Season 15 ladies who put themselves out there to whom I wish nothing but the best in their careers (e-mail me, girls; I'd love to have any of you to come on my forthcoming companion podcast guaranteed to raise a smile to talk all things pop culture and plug your new adventures), and to the rose ringleader himself (and one of the nicest guys in the biz from all I've heard), Mr. Chris Harrison.

For new readers: Although the curtain's down on all things Bachelor until late May, I talk up/comment on American Idol and Dancing With The Stars, offer commentary on current entertainment happenings, share eclectic batches of links covering news, sports, TV, entertainment, music and beyond, write tributes to books, films, and music that have moved me/made me laugh/educated me in my lifetime...and even more potential written piddlings just a-dying to be typed up that might just keep you fascinated a hundred years from now...

So I humbly invite you to bookmark/RSS this slice of web real estate to get to know me better...and if I can turn your frown upside down or take your mind off worries, that's what I'm here for.

In the words of Lester Bangs from Almost Famous, "I stay up late".

 

-J.R.

 

-Jeffrey Rosado is a writer, performer, pop culture historian, and all around nice guy...until the fantasy girl of his dreams (Chantal) announces to a nationwide audience that she's found another...

Melissa Rycroft, can you take me out for a drink? I feel your former pain, sister friend...

 

Follow Jeff On Twitter (marquee_man) 

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