Dancing With The Stars Back Tonight! - The Cultute of Pop, DVD, Movie, TV, Pop Culture Review

Dancing With The Stars Back Tonight!

Posted: Mon, 21 Mar 2011 7:11:16 PDT

JEFFREY'S PRE-SEASON 12 PICKS..

Ah, springtime...the period when love tickles the innards of many a male. Trees becoming greener, days are longer, and the warmth of the sun brings hope to many a lonely heart.

As for me...forget THAT crap.

Springtime brings back my favorite television dance show. My mind's filled with visions of spray tans, dreams of a mirror ball for my new favorite dancing twosome, and Cheryl Burke 'n' Kym Johnson making my tongue expand like an out of control tape measure in a 1940's cartoon, sighing at their latest costumes.

 Don't make me choose, girls...I love you both (swwoooooon)!

Time to bring back Tom “Terrific” Bergeron, Brooke-ness, Queen Carrie-Ann, Brrrrrrruno, and even you, Lenny.....you old dog, you!

Although I've been watching since its 2005 inception when it was just supposed to be another summer replacement series that wound up winning the adoration of America, the inauguration of new seasons of Dancing With The Stars never fails to excite me..even if the initial list of candidates fail to move you...at first.

Based on preliminary feedback on Season's 12 cast, such is the case with this season's set of celebrity hoofers: Ralph Macchio? A middle aged Karate Kid just about to qualify for a complimentary subscription to AARP Magazine? Quick step on, Quick step off?

And, oh dear Lordy, Kirstie Alley? Or the Kirstie Alleys since she apparently still eats for two?

Yes, I'll be opening for Joan Rivers at The Laugh Factory in Hollywood come May; no cover...

Honestly, my fellow DWTS lovers? I'm probably tame and sweet compared to the feedback on many a forum about this year's class (and for the record, I'm just kidding, Kirstie and Ralph...you guys rule).

(Sigh) Once again, six years into its run, even the hard core loyalists/so-called believers think a new season's gonna be the worst ever, again.

Let Dance-story make you reconsider...

Did we ever think a supporting Seinfield cast member would become a surprise sex symbol with the grace of Fred Astaire in Season 1? With apologies to Kelly Monaco, John O'Hurley should have won that year).

Did we ever think NFL Hall Of Famer Emmitt Smith would become the twinkle toes of the ballroom in Season 3? Cheryl Burke, you are a master at doing the unthinkable, my dear...and your second mirror ball to boot after your game changing work with Drew Lachey.

Okay...yeah, I'm bucking for an interview with her on my podcast to help promote her book...and mayyyyybe a date, too?

Hey, I've had it up to here with that so called dating deal E Untruthableabouteverythingharmonica...with an E).Certainly couldn't hurt to ask someone in the old fashioned way (insert Jeffrey's eyebrows fluttering, here).

And did we ever think we'd see a politically related laughing stock

reinvent herself to brilliant effect like Bristol Palin did last fall? Leave the politics out, and we watched a stressed out young lady become her own person and having a blast while doing so...and even making fans of people no matter what their political beliefs.

Such stories are why I still love this show.

Over the weekend, I spent time looking and studying over rehearsal footage of our 11 fresh footed couples set to make their way into the ballroom hours from now, and I have to tell you guys, I think we're in for a super, super season that may very well surprise you. Yeah, the marquee names don't possess the wattage of seasons past, but the pairings in terms of comparability and potential chemistry to me?

Some of the best I've ever seen.

So, from first to (unfortunately) worst, here are my rankings, and early thoughts on this years Dancing's coupling contenders:

Kendra and Louis-Most of you know Mrs. Wilkinson as a glamor girl, Playboy Playmate alum and reality show star...But this blonde cutie is a self professed tomboy and extremely athletic (not to mention possessing one shaker of a behind she promises to put to good use). Additionally, she's paired with the wonderful, highly underrated, and gentlemanly Louis, who is so due for a mirror ball.

Chris and Cheryl-Athletes do so well on DWTS, thus I pin so much hope in Team Chericho. The former WWE vet's footwork and ability to learn quickly from the show's best teacher and dancer hints at great possibilities. Although Cheryl is one of the program's most successful stars, she hasn't taken home the mirror ball since Season Three...and again, she's gonna bring out every trick in her endless book to end that so-called losing streak.

Hines and Kym-After a disappointingly (and frankly, pretty shocking) early exit last fall with Sex Bomb David Hasselhoff (who really lived up to the second word of that Tom Jones hit), Kym's got her dukes up..and what better partner to have than recent Pittsburgh Steeler Super Bowl fave Hines.They've already clicked as close friends, they have laugh filled practices, and such comfort often brings great results when the giggles stop. Plus, Hines is another killer athlete; they rarely falter which switching sports...

Sugar Ray and Anna-Only age keeps me from ranking one of my all time favorite sports figures higher than fourth...Otherwise, I think Sugar Ray could put the gloves back on tomorrow. In the brief clip on ABC.com, Ray's footwork is wonderful, Anna looks like she's having a blast, and if Hines or Jericho falter, Mr. Leonard could very well be a Top Two contender.

Kirstie and Maksim-No matter how good or bad she does, Kirstie is gonna be so much fun to watch; the Cloris Leachman of the season, for sure. But given her love of the show, her passion, and endless sense of humor, she may give my top four picks a run for their money. Also, she's apparently charmed the pants off her sometimes moody/surly partner Maksim...she's even calling him Boo on her Twitter feed (all together everyone, “awwwww”)...and millions of potential Boos in front of their televisions (this one included) may very well keep her around into top three territory.

Wendy and Tony-A very good pairing of two extremely likeable people, the uptown talk show diva could find herself battling it out with Kirstie for top female contender if her friendship with Tony can translate on the dance floor...She wants to learn, Tony's a wonderful teacher, so they will be beyond interesting to watch.

Mark and Lacey-The “Loveline” radio show co-host could not have a better partner...for like his nickname, they're both a little “Psycho” (but not in a Tony Perkins way, thank goodness). Markuss is gonna need a lot of work, but coming off a surprising and much deserved 2^nd place finish last fall with Kyle Massey, Lacey has to still have some post-season desire in her blood. Mike could be the next Adam Carolla of the ballroom, or a pleasant surprise; we'll see.

Chelsea and Mark-Like Kyle Massey from last year, I have yet another Disney provided contestant ranked low on my preliminary line-up...Mainly because I don't know who in the world she is. Beyond cute, but can she dance? Although Mark Ballas is brilliant in bringing out the dancer in the most unlikely of beginners, I don't think Chelsea is going to be in the same league as Shawn Johnson, or even Bristol Palin for that matter...Still, never count Ballas out with his intensity; he goes for it every time like a man possessed; like he's never won a mirror ball before.

Romeo and Chelsie-Okay, some of you may wonder why I don't have this rapper up any higher than position ten on my list...Let me give you “Dancing” aficionados since day one a one word/one letter reminder: Master P. – Now, did that not trigger off a few memory cells in your brain? I can still hear the squeaks of the man's shoes (and I wasn't even there!). Poor Ashley Costa (then known as DelGrosso) was probably scarred for life. So, I'm hoping against hope that Romeo doesn't follow in his father's shoes (and please, for the love of God, kid...Wear pants! But Chelsie is such an underrated dancer, I love her spirit and verve...but the early rehearsal video didn't do much for me.

Ralph and Karina-I'd love to rate old Ralphie Macchio a few notches higher given my love for The Karate Kid (one of my all time favorite movies) and the highly underrated blues-guitar filled Crossroads (not to be confused with that godawful Britney Spears movie of a while back)...Extremely likeable guy, but despite his experience in musical theater, I just don't see him going very far...Especially due to his lack of enthusiasm in early footage with Karina (with whom I'd be like, WOW! Let's cut a rug, honey!). Nothing would do my heart proud to see another 80's icon show the world there's still life after 40 (think last fall's DWTS victor Jennifer Grey), but I don't think we're gonna see history repeat itself twice.

Petra and Dimitry-Coming in at last place (unfortunately), is model Petra Nemcova...and it kills me to do so given the sad memories that are no doubt popping back in her mind via the tsunami in Japan, a freak of nature event that took the life of her fiancee. Still, what I've been witness to so far in pre-competition footage, I feel she will be in danger from the get-go, much in the way Kathy Ireland was a few seasons back....With rare exceptions like Brooke Burke, models surprisingly don't do very well at DWTS...I'd be pleasantly surprised if Petra proved you and me otherwise, but her other disadvantage is the lack of competition her partner's faced in the ballroom, too.

So, let's see if my pre-Dancing picks get off to a good start tonight, or comes down crashing like many a March Madness bracket over the weekend (glad I decided not to participate this year; I'd have a Charlie Brown “RATS!” balloon over my head for at least a week in the aftermath).

Dancing With The Stars premieres tonight at 8 Eastern, 7 Central on ABC...and if for some crazy reason you can't watch tonight, sequester yourself from spoilers and watch it tomorrow on ABC.com

 

-Jeffrey Rosado

 

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